stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

(via ghostwith-a-beatingheart)

unsmokable:

matchingisoverrated:

demonhiccups:

I decided to bleep out the lines on “I’m a Boss Ass Bitch” so I can listen to it properly in church. 

IM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW

I had high expectations and I was not let down

(via lumberjack-swag)